Sometimes life can be tough, and that’s when a little humor can go a long way. For some of us, that means delving into the depths of our minds to find dark and inappropriate jokes that pack a shock factor. These jokes are so absurd that they could have been thought up by George Costanza and Larry David themselves. They are the antiheroes of jokes.
While there is nothing inherently wrong with dark humor jokes, it’s important to consider your audience and the situation. These dark humor jokes might not be suitable for your coworkers or in-laws, but your friends or equally twisted family might appreciate them. Expressing your dark humor jokes can be a risky move, but it’s worth it to find your tribe (just not at work).
These funny dark humor jokes will make you laugh so hard that your veins might turn black. We apologize (but not really) for that. And you’re not alone in your quest for these jokes. According to the latest search data, people search for dark jokes almost 110,000 times per month.
However, the ultimate goal is to bring some lightness into our lives during moments of darkness.
So here are our favorite dark humor jokes to help you get through the day.
Just a warning: these jokes are not suitable for children. Unlike us sick and twisted individuals, kids are far too innocent for this kind of humor.
1. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
2. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
3. What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
4. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?
They taste funny.
5. What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
6. Why did the chicken go to the seance?
To talk to the other side.
7. What did one orphan say to the other?
Robin, get in the Batmobile!
8. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
9. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
10. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the heart for it.
11. What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?
A Labracadabrador.
12. Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired.
13. What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth-hurty.
14. Why don’t skeletons go trick-or-treating?
They have no body to go with.
15. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
16. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the stomach for it.
17. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field, literally.
18. What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick thrown at your face.
19. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?
They’re too rubbery and taste like face paint.
20. What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs are not gender-specific.
21. Why did the chicken go to the seance?
To communicate with its past lives.
22. What did one orphan say to the other?
‘We’re just like Batman, minus the money.’
23. Why did the tomato turn red?
It was embarrassed by its rotten friends.
24. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
They’re always up to something.
25. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They prefer a boneless existence.
26. What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador retriever.
27. Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was tired of standing up.
28. What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
When you have no teeth left.
29. Why don’t skeletons go trick-or-treating?
They lack the muscle to carry candy bags.
30. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh, but also quite blind.
31. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the backbone for it.
32. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field, figuratively.
33. What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A blood-soaked toothbrush.
34. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?
They’re too full from eating other people.
35. What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs are gender-neutral.
36. Why did the chicken go to the seance?
To reconnect with its ancestors.
37. What did one orphan say to the other?
‘We’re just like Batman, except we have parents.’
38. Why did the tomato turn red?
It realized it was a vegetable and couldn’t be a fruit.
39. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
They’re always splitting up.
40. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the skull for strategy.
41. What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador retriever with a wand.
42. Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was cursed by a mischievous witch.
43. What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
When they’re on vacation and can’t torture you.
44. Why don’t skeletons go trick-or-treating?
They don’t have the guts to ask for candy.
45. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A blind swimmer.
46. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the spine for confrontation.
47. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field, literally and metaphorically.
48. What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick thrown by an angry clown.
49. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?
They prefer seasoning with a side of fries.
50. What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs are gender-neutral, but snow-women might make better snow-angels.
51. Why did the chicken go to the seance?
To communicate with Colonel Sanders’ ghost.
52. What did one orphan say to the other?
‘Let’s steal Bruce Wayne’s fortune.’
53. Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw its reflection as a fruit in the shiny countertop.
54. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
They’re always sharing electrons without permission.
55. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They prefer to dance the night away.
56. What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador trickster.
57. Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was tired of being ridden and needed a break.
58. What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
When you want to hear someone scream in agony.
59. Why don’t skeletons go trick-or-treating?
They’re afraid of being mistaken for props.
60. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
An aquatic blindfold.
61. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the willpower to engage in conflict.
62. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field, both literally and metaphorically, and had a great PR team.
63. What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick thrown at high velocity.
64. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?
They’re too chewy and taste like face paint mixed with tears.
65. What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs are gender-neutral, and snow-women might have better fashion sense.
66. Why did the chicken go to the seance?
To communicate with its ancestors and find out why it always crosses roads.
67. What did one orphan say to the other?
‘If we find a wealthy family, let’s make sure they’re not the Waynes.’
68. Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw its reflection in a mirror and realized it was blushing with embarrassment.
69. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
They’re always causing reactions and blowing things up.
70. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the spine to engage in battles.
71. What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador illusionist.
72. Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was fed up with being ridden and wanted to retire to a peaceful life as garden decor.
73. What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
When you want to test your pain tolerance and challenge your sanity.
74. Why don’t skeletons go trick-or-treating?
They’re afraid of being mistaken for extras from a low-budget horror movie.
75. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A seafood delicacy in some cultures.
76. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They prefer to collaborate on skeletal symphonies.
77. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field, literally, metaphorically, and in terms of crop protection.
78. What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick thrown by a vengeful ex.
79. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?
They’re too bitter and taste like childhood disappointment.
80. What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs are gender-inclusive, and snow-women might have more intricate snowflake patterns on their bodies.
81. Why did the chicken go to the seance?
To communicate with its past lives and uncover the secrets of egg-laying.
82. What did one orphan say to the other?
‘We’re just like Batman, but without the fancy gadgets and inherited wealth.’
83. Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw its reflection in a shiny apple and felt inferior.
84. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
They’re always splitting up and causing trouble in the lab.
85. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They prefer to collaborate on Halloween dance routines.
86. What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador sorcerer.
87. Why did the bicycle fall over?
It decided to join a circus and practice acrobatics.
88. What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
When you want to embrace the discomfort and contemplate your life choices.
89. Why don’t skeletons go trick-or-treating?
They’re afraid of being mistaken for anatomical models.
90. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A swimming mystery waiting to be discovered.
91. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They prefer to engage in philosophical discussions about life and death.
92. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field, both literally and metaphorically, and had a great sense of humor.
93. What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick thrown by a failed artist who swears it’s a masterpiece.
94. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?
They’re too worried about getting a case of the giggles.
95. What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs don’t discriminate, and snow-women might have more elaborate snowflake accessories.
96. Why did the chicken go to the seance?
To communicate with its future self and predict the next egg it will lay.
97. What did one orphan say to the other?
‘Let’s become superheroes and save the world, or at least try to.’
98. Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw its reflection in a shiny frying pan and feared being cooked.
99. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
They’re always changing their minds and theories.
100. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They prefer to peacefully coexist and support each other’s bone structures.
