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‘A Lie That Specifically Involves You’
Jimmy Kimmel returned from a vacation on Monday with a mind to settle scores.
He called out President Trump for comments he’d made about Kimmel at a rally in South Carolina in late June. The president also attacked Jimmy Fallon and Stephen Colbert at that rally, and the two issued a joint response immediately afterward — but Kimmel wasn’t involved then, since he had already gone on vacation.
Trump had told the crowd that Kimmel used to wait for him eagerly outside the studio when Trump appeared as a guest. But on Monday, Kimmel called that a total lie.
“Even the people who like the president know he makes things up,” Kimmel said. “But still, it’s weird to hear him tell a lie that specifically involves you.”
Then Kimmel decided to fight fire with fire.
“This is what really happened that night: Donald Trump showed up one night outside our show, banging on the backstage door. It was 2007. He had a half-finished bucket of chicken under his arm. And he was screaming that he needed to use the bathroom. But unfortunately, there was someone in the bathroom. I believe it was Zach Braff who was in the bathroom. So Donald took a look around, he stuffed the remainder of the chicken in his jacket, he dropped his pants, he did his business in the bucket. That’s true — that story is exactly as true as his was.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
Colbert Is Worried
Colbert talked about footage from a different Trump rally, last week in Montana, where the president again went far off script. Colbert said that after seeing the performance, he thinks Trump needs to take an aptitude test.
“Remember when people were thinking Trump’s brain might be on the fritz, but then his doctor, Ronny Jackson, says it wasn’t because Trump took a test where he successfully identified a camel, but then Dr. Ronny turned out to be a pill-popping dealer who drank on the job, but then we never sent in another non-pill doctor to test Trump’s brain? Remember that? Something’s got me thinking about that.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The late-night shows taped before Trump announced his nomination of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court — but the president had sent out a handful of tweets earlier in the day stoking anticipation.
Both Kimmel and Colbert puzzled over one particular message in which Trump adopted a storyteller’s tone, saying he had “long heard that the most important decision a U.S. President can make is the selection of a Supreme Court Justice.”
DJ Khaled will swing by “Conan” on Tuesday — unless “travel issues” prevent it. On “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” Denzel Washington will be in the guest’s chair.
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